Comrade Oligarkh

An experience not many in the Western world have had – flying a VIP conversion of a Soviet airliner. So does a good divan make the Tu-134 a plane to crave?

It all happened a while ago, in the summer of 2008. I got the chance to travel a route easily (and more comfortably) done by train, but crowded with planes nevertheless: Moscow – St. Petersburg, the one-hour flight that sees you waste two hours getting to the airport and another two getting into the centre of the Northern Capital. I was lucky enough to be a breakfast traveller, getting up at 5:30 a.m. to catch my leg on the Tu-134 belonging to Moscow Capital Bank and operated by the specially organised Capital Avia Invest. Thus no traffic on the dry highway and a 125 mph (200 kph) top speed of my cabbie, who could’ve probably gotten me up North in less time than it eventually took me – if he managed to keep us out of the grave, which could not be trusted.

We arrive at the Cosmos terminal, sitting right near Vnukovo-3. It’s a nice cosy place and completely empty at this time – about 6 a.m. The airplane is waiting for some other passengers, I’m enjoying the start of my new business aviation experience – of which I only had a flight on a Global 5000 by the time – and checking out the magazines, being TopFlight Editor-in-Chief and always on the lookout for competitors. Two guys come in, also flying to St. Petersburg. One picks up Jet Magazine and says: “Check this out, it’s a good one.” I’m thinking: “Wait till you see mine, mate.”

We’re finally invited in and it turns out I get the ultra-luxury oligarkh suite in the front of the plane, equipped with a nice divan, two chairs across a large dinner table all covered in magazines, and a TV that will display airshow later on. The suite is really spacious on contrast with the quite recent Global 5000 flight, although the difference doesn’t seem that impressive on paper. The Tu-134 cabin is about 8” wider and 2” taller (20 cm and 5 cm) than that of the Bombardier jet and totals 8’10” (2.71 m) by 6’5” (1.96 m). Alexey “Think Tank” would still stick his head into the ceiling, but this is a stand-up cabin for many who are less vertically demanding.

This particular airplane is special. It used to be a trainer for bomber pilots and even had a cone on its nose to resemble warplane aerodynamics. Unlike the Tupolevs in civil operation across the Soviet Union and the Russian Federation, this one only had about 5,000 hours at the time when it was acquired for refurbishment. Such low hours left it with another 50,000 (Russian planes have a “resource” on everything, remember), so arguably it still has a long way to go until it retires. To make the RA-65727 a bizliner, the people at Tupolev Design Bureau almost took the whole plane apart to install everything brand-new: avionics, cabin systems, the interior. It doesn’t meet European noise restrictions, but otherwise it’s fully modernised – with TCAS, GPWS, weather radar and all those other niceties a plane should have. No glass cockpit though, and still three people needed to fly the thing.

It is the year 2008 and I’m taxiing past the purported “two hundred Russian business jets” parked in Vnukovo. There are quite a few of them, I must admit, but to this day I have doubts as to the accuracy of that number. We turn towards the runway and the captain doesn’t slow down, he just starts the runup while turning. Please write the name of this fancy manoeuvre in the comments below if you happen to know.

The excitement of the fast turn gives way to impatience as the machine climbs slowly through the air, engines roaring, and the anticipation of a rapid ascent is ruined by reality. This isn’t a sporty airplane – the Embraer Lineage is a rocket beside it. As a passenger you get the impression that it flies with a certain effort, and even surrounded by all the luxury you can hear the high-pitched whine of the engines in the back – until your ears are blocked by the jumping pressure. So there goes a few points off the overall score. It’s not as good in flight as sitting on the ground. The crew is quick to recover the lost marks, though, and I’m served a breakfast that I’m not sure I would manage even as dinner after a day of manual labour. It covers the entire table with fine china and is crowned with a bottle of XO cognac – at 0650!

A couple shots later I notice that there is none of that annoying engine roar, the sun is shining on the beautiful landscape below, Mother Russia stretching before me as far as the eye can see. At $6 million with interior and equipment during the peak year of 2008, this airplane is probably the best bargain you can get as a novice oligarkh. The second suite is for four people, and you can take another 40 servants in business class seats in the back. A distance of 2160 nm (4000 km) at a speed of up to 475 knots (880 kph) will get you places in one landing, while its confinement to the less picky countries in terms of noise and pollution means that your interests should be concentrated around the CIS, Middle and Far East, and Africa.

An hour’s flight and I’m in Pulkovo, a very pleasant Wednesday morning and the start of my summer vacation. It’s been almost three years but some of the impressions are still quite clear. It’s a nice, sturdy airplane that makes up in capabilities what it loses in sheer flying. Be sure to check it out if you’re ever in Russia and have an opportunity – chances are these luxury symbols of the past won’t be around too long.